Epiphanies

Over the past few weeks I have had multiple epiphanies, things that I couldn't realize at the beginning of the summer because I was too busy freaking out about my life. The shock is finally wearing off. So below are some realizations that I've had as well as some random thoughts.

1. Everything REALLY is going to be okay.

2. I need to have more fun. I'm way to young to worry so much. I don't have to have everything accomplished for the day to go out and have fun with my friends. I'm impatient and I need to realize things don't happen overnight.

3. School really is over and pretty soon most of the people at Flagler that I know will move on too. It's not like making art is over. I have my whole life for that. I WILL meet new people and keep in touch with those that matter. It's not like Flagler is disappearing off the face of the planet and it's not like I can't visit St. Augustine when I eventually leave it. There are so many experiences that are waiting for me and I frustrate myself by holding on to past ones that have been good. They were awesome time periods in my life, but it's time to move on.

3. Art people are crazy. We may appear to LOOK normal (most of the time) but listen to us talk for a while and you'll see what I mean. But it makes sense. There are definitely times when you can call some stuff out for being a lot of b.s. but most of the time it makes sense, it's why we do things...and it's really simple. And while it may seem like we are talking about nonsense it's really not. It's like a secret artist language.

4. I watch a lot of reality television. The combination of the Jersey Shore and Project Runway on the same night is super exciting.

5. While watching yet another reality T.V. show, The Rachel Zoe Project, I had a reminder of how much I miss Paris (even though I've only been there twice for a few days at a time). Rachel goes there for fashion week and seeing the shots of Paris made me want to book a one way ticket there that very second.

6. I think I'm ready for New York. Growing up less than an hour away, I never ever thought I could live there, but I think I'm ready for it. There's no city like it in the world, and even though I'm totally romanticizing the starving artist thing in my head, reality is that there are numerous opportunities there. I'm sort of missing the excitement of New York. There are also more opportunities for meeting people. I think I need to book a flight home to visit.

7. Or Paris. I should move to Paris. I seem to have it in my head that I need to go to grad school soon. I have a plan. I also seem to think that I need money in order to make Paris happen. Truth of the matter is I can pick up and move to Paris anytime I want. If I'm gonna be a poor starving artist why can't I do that from the most beautiful city in the world? I am sort of afraid that living there would take away from the magic of it. I had enough guts to study abroad in London for a semester, question is could I really move to Paris?

8. My caffeine addiction could be a lot worse but it's still pretty bad. This was brought to my attention when on the way home from the gym (in the morning) I stopped at McDonald's NOT for food but for a diet coke. Usually people drink water after working out. Not me I went straight for the caffeine.

9. I really don't know how people wake up at 5 in the morning to go to the gym. I mean I always feel better after going but I can barely wake up at 9:30 to be someplace at 11.

There are more wonderful realizations that I've had. Moments that everything just seems so clear an clicks together. I'm just going to keep them to myself, but all of these epiphanies have been supper exciting to have.